I have been thinking a lot about my friends lately. I have always seen the necessity in friendship but have never understood its depth until recently. There is a common phrase that everyone uses that you can choose your friends and not your family. And I love my family very much and will post about that some other time but this post is about my friends.
The thing about that quote is I'm not sure if I always choose who my friends are, I think sometimes life circumstances chooses them for me. And in my belief system God has his hand in it. He knows who we need and when. Toxic friends can still easily infiltrate but if you look close enough the perfect people are amazingly right there when they need to be. At just the right time. And things easily fall in place. At least that has been my experience lately.
A period of Lonliness
I haven't always had the perfect friends readily available and I have felt like in some chapters of my life, I didn't have as many close friendships as I wanted and I often felt very lonely. I had many "friends" but nothing very deep. I even went through a hellish year with plenty of grief and pain and still did not have a lot of friends to lean on. I did have a few that came through, but many disappeared. This is where I say Thank you God for my family. They were what I needed in that moment. Still I prayed many nights that God would bring me a Christina to my Meredith. (Greys Anatomy reference, google it) 
I had close moments with friends but no really close friends. Looking back I can see that In that time God was teaching me how to love myself and depend on him. Also how to love my husband and make him a best friend. A lesson I would have to learn in order to be a good friend in tough times later in the future.
A Planted Seed
A few years ago I remember being a counselor at a retreat or church camp and the speaker or youth minister , I think it was Jonathan Trotter said something to the effect that relationships become stronger when faced with adversity together. That sounded lovely at the time but I had not really faced deep pain or grief or real adversity and did not yet understand what that meant. But it stuck with me, God does that often, it's a part of the unknown supernatural magic of God.
Just like my love for an old accapella song from my childhood that came to mind while praying one night. I may have mentioned this before but it's worth repeating. This particular song is based on a scripture in Ephesians 3:20. "To him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine."
The AHA Moment
The thing is I had just told God that with out a diagnosis I had no idea what to pray for in regards to Lottie's future. I was lost and speechless , yes me... Speechless. And so I sat in silence and cried and he answered me with that song. Not in an audible God voice but actually in a memory of my mom singing along to that song in our house. I'm sure it was being blasted from a tape player. It was my clear answer and now we pray that verse over our kids and other people's kids every night. So I know God plants words in our minds only to have them blossom when our lives are ready to fully hear.
Of Course Extroverts Need Friends!
Some may be saying, it's easy for you to talk about friendship because you are an extrovert and an open book. And maybe they are right. I thrive with social contact and love sharing my life with other people and I am genuinely interested in other people's lives too. But this goes beyond me, it's somethings I am sure of. All of us need people! All of us!
I could go back to Adam and Eve but either you have heard that story 100 times or maybe just don't want more preachy Katie. I'll spare you this time. But if you look around you, even the guy stuck in his house playing video games forms relationships with his fellow gamers. Tom Hanks needed people so bad in Castaway that he made a volleyball his friend.
As much as I am a social being. I have NEVER needed people the way I have recently. And as usual they have showed up at just the right time. I have many friends that pre date Charlotte and low muscle tone that I still feel really connected to and love them very much . And they are in my world and a part of my village too.
But this blog series is more about the friends I have met along this journey the "special needs journey" about 2 new friends, a bunch of online friends and about one friendship that has evolved, strengthened and changed profoundly through this time. Spoiler alert that last friend mentioned is part of the family I married into. So again life circumstances pushed us together. But more on these awesome women in Part 2.
But to sum this part up , I found the most perfect quote while reading a fantastic post on themighty.com from a mom who has faced a very different battle than myself. But writes about her role and the people she has met along the way. This is the quote that stuck out to me and made me want to write a blog about my friendships. Don't just graze over this really let the words soak in. She says,
"All of this reminds me how much our journey is about others. We aren’t alone in a cage. We’re part of a community where we all need someone"
The imagery of the words "aren't alone in a cage" really spoke to my heart and I felt this sudden love and bond for this stranger that wrote these words and the beautiful women, my friends , that build my community. And as always a BIG thank you to my sweet Lottie for giving me the opportunity to build these friendships and understand true community.
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